The first few weeks were a mix of frustration and intrigue. I fluctuated between a sense of adventure and loneliness.
Finally, I´m coming to terms with the fact that this trip did not bring the instant and lasting gratification I´d originally though it would.
I came here hoping to find my destiny... the final piece to the Who-is-Faith? puzzle.
It´s not here.
But during a conversation with my significant other, something that was said struck me. I can´t remember who said it, but it was something like "the search [for self-actualization] continues."
"It´s like finding The Charlotte!" I blurted.
In the movie National Treasure, Nicolas Cage´s character is a historian and treasure hunter. He´d devoted his whole life to finding a particular caché of hidden treasure, as had his father and grandfather before him. They had been chasing clue after clue, but the biggest clue yet, passed down from generation to generation was a man´s dying words. "The secret lies with Charlotte."
This launched Cage into a long and expensive venture to find "Charlotte". When he finally found it [Charlotte was a boat], the treasure wasn´t there...as he had expected. Instead, he found yet another clue.
Spain is my "Charlotte".
I didn´t find my niche here as I had expected. Instead I´m uncovering clues as to who I really am and what I am meant to do.
They can be summarized as follows:
- I need people. I love sharing experiences with others. Whatever I end up doing, wherever it is, I don´t want to go alone.
- I respect those who enjoy "roughing it", but I have no desire to do so myself. I enjoy...want...need the finer things in life (like a/c). I don´t have to feel guilty about that either.
- I have to find a way to make a difference in the world (as cliched as this may sound). I want to feel like what I´m doing will have a lasting, positive effect on the lives of others. Other people´s desire for what I have to offer fuels my desire to give it.
Now, I can take these back with me... my clues... these pieces to the puzzle and continue my search for the biggest treasure of all.
Exactly what that is...I´ve yet to find out.